you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
