rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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