He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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