i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
