I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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