hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
