There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
as a side note pls kill me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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