but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
