He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
