I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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