end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
