I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
