I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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