I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
