she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm always down for nudity.
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