it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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