Screwed.edu
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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