Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
