What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Come on in and take your pants off
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