Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
