I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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