why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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