Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
