Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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