I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
