Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
