Do vagina's smell?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
