i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
