just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
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This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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