Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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