I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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