I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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