I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
