If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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