Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
