Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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