dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
