isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
