Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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