butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
