I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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