I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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