Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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