Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
