from now on my penis is your penis
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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