someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
