I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize