Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
