im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
