So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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