My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
