are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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