So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
