That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
