Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
