Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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