whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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