Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Two words: blizzard sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
