ugly people sure do ruin things
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
