my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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