i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
