She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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