it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
