you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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