your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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